DIRECTOR: Joanna Angel
PRODUCER: Burning Angel Entertainment
MSRP: $25.00 (http://www.burningangel.com/store/196/kung-fu-pussy-porn-movies)
DATE OF PRODUCTION: 2011
LENGTH: 2 hrs. 27 mins.
AUDIO/VIDEO: This DVD, like other Burning Angel Entertainment DVDs features a good soundtrack. The audio is definitely clear. I found the video quality to be slightly less than HD (High Definition). I viewed it using an HDTV, and a Blu-ray player and found the quality to be what you'd expect from a standard DVD. This isn't bad by any means though. Each scene within the feature is presented in a widescreen ratio.
CAST: Dana DeArmond, Dane Cross, James Deen, Jessie Lee (II), Joanna Angel, Kelly Chaos, Kleio, Mr. Pete, Skin Diamond, Tom Byron
CONDOMS: None
Scene 1: Joanna Angel
The first scene opens up with a very humorous plot that unfolds in an over-the-top grindhouse feature sort of way. The scene introduces three female Shaolin pupils with some very unique talents. First off there's Joanna Angel who has the "Iron Ass". Next we have Jessie Lee who has the power of the "Dragon Tits", and last but not least there's Kleio who is endowed with the "Lotus Pussy". The three girls find themselves under the disciplinary guidance of Master Byron (Tom Byron) who was giving them a lecture about their behavior, and and a former pupil who has amassed great power. After telling them that the former pupil, Emperor James Deen is out to learn the secret technique of the "Ass Slam" he asks for Joanna to stay behind as he sends the other to pupils away.
As the two other pupils exit the stage Joanna (Iron Ass) looks totally psyched that Master Byron would personally ask for her. Before too much dialogue is exchanged Joanna grabs Master Byron's penis/pants. She unzips his pants, and basically, in a straightforward manner gets down to business. What follows is a very impressive BJ session full of gagging, slobbering, spitting, and deepthroating. When she's done giving head Master Byron has his way with her for a while. The two engage in various sexual positions including doggystyle, missionary, and cowgirl (if I remember correctly?). I am for certain though that the sex involved was intense, and Joanna seemed to enjoy every second of it. Master Byron even wore out Joanna's "Iron Ass" during their intimate encounter. After receiving a noteworthy pounding Joanna received a decent facial cumshot. Overall the scene went quite well. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The plot of "Kung Fu Pussy" switched focus to the other two feuding beauties (Jessie Lee "Dragon Tits" & Kleio "Lotus Pussy") of Master Byron's dojo in this hilarious sexual fiasco of a scene. To begin with both Jessie, and Kleio are at each other's throats with verbal threats. This soon escalates to a full blown shaolin showdown between the pair. Luckily there were also two other male pupils there who were assigned to keep an eye on the dueling dames. The two gentlemen pupils broke up the fight, and in doing so became the two girls' center of attention. What followed was hotter than hell shoalin suck off, and a full blown sexual competition to see which girl was the best fucker. The pupils engaged in about every sexual position possible in the process, often taunting each other as they did so. The highlight of the scene for me though was the whacked out shit that one of the male perfomers/pupils said. He deserved a freakin' award for those lines! I couldn't stop laughing to take the scene serious after that. After watching this one scene I could see why the DVD was nominated for awards.
It seems that Emperor Deen's advisor is a tad bit worried about Master Byron's girls. He tries unsuccessfully to council Emperor Deen on the situation, but his advice falls on deaf ears. After totally blowing off his advisor's warnings, Emporer Deen has him summon a slave girl to satisfy his current sexual urge. The slave girl (Dana DeArmond) is fooled into believing that they are doing some sort of naughty roleplay, but the truth is quite far from that. The sexual encounter that ensues is both intense, and hysterically insane. As Emperor Deen bangs Dana DeArmond six ways from Sunday she spouts out all kind of humerous sexual nonsense pertaining to his evilness! I have never in my life seen such intense acting, and fucking in my entire life! At times it was hilariously insane, and other times it looked as if Dana were going to stroke out from her extreme orgasms. The girl definitely deserves some kind of academy award for her performance. She seriously got into the role of playing a slave girl who was in turn roleplaying herself. The lines she spoke as she was being ass fucked were truly brilliant, and definitely went along with the whole theme of the movie. I absolutely loved this scene. It's one of the best I've viewed in a very long while!
Master Byron's girls find themselves in a dire predicament after trying stealthily invade Emperor Deen's fortress. Just before making it to their destination Jessie's cellphone rings, and her wild response to the text message gives the girls' position away allowing the Emperor's guards to capture them. When the three girls awake they find that they are in the Emperor's dreaded dungeon. They also discover two other slave girls who are chained to the dungeon wall in their birthday suits. Joanna comes up with a plan for diversion that uses the slave girls as a distraction. When she's through convincing the slave girls that it's awesome to get laid, she tricks them into seducing the guards for sex purposes. The two guards give into temptation, and release the two slave girls from their shackles. Just as the foursome is about to engage in their sex act Master Byron's girls escape.
The remainder of the scene shows what happened with the two slave girls (Skin Diamond & Kelly Chaos), and the two guards. For the most part the foursome engage in some fairly close quarters positions, sharing each other's company freely. Between the four performers there was a wide variety of sex positions explored. In fact the covered about every basic position you could think of. I noticed that Skin Diamond had some serious deepthroating skills, and she gladly showed them off throughout the scene. Kelly Chaos also gave her fair share of sexy moments, especially when she was riding the male performer's/guard's cocks. I found the scene to be quite good in the sex category. With that being said there was a little less humor involved in this scene which was an acceptable departure from the routine wackiness that was displayed in previous scenes.
The trio of kung fu beauties finally confront their sworn enemy in this over-the-top finale. After initially facing off against Emperor Deen the girls find themselves face down on the floor, beaten and in trouble. Luckily the voice of their Master echoes through their minds in unison reminding them that teamwork is the key to success. With renewed hope the girls one by one charge the Emperor. Jessie attacks first ramming Emperor Deen with her "Dragon Tits". Kleio follows pursuit, and face sits the emperor with her "Lotus Pussy". The two girls prepare Emperor Deen for the "Ass Slamming" he is about to receive. They both work together to get him hard, and after a short while Joanna chimes in with her "Ass Slam". She mounts Emperor Deen as he lay helpless on the floor, shouting "Ass Slam" as she does.
The sex turns into a marathon of sorts after that. The girls tag team Emperor Deen for what seems like an eternity. Any normal guy would have been spent shortly after the encounter, but Emperor Deen just kept on going, and going (kind of like the energizer bunny). I witnessed all kinds of unique sex positions as I viewed the scene. The girls looked as if they were forming a human sexipede at one point during the scene. The even piled on top of one another so that Emperor Deen could easily access each of their holes. When it was all said, and done the Emperor died as a result of the "Ass Slam", and even said "Ass Slam" as he collapsed upon a conveniently placed sofa. At the very end there was a silly moment where the girls started having kung fu speech issues like you'd see in old kung fu films. It was a humorous ending to an amazing DVD.
EXTRA SHIT
- Behind The Scenes
- Trailers
- Gallery
- Internet
CONCLUSION
I thoroughly enjoyed this DVD! It had so many hilarious moments that made it truly memorable. I would honestly say that some of the acting in this feature was just as good as an actual movie presentation. The funny lines that the one dude said in 'scene 2' as he was fucking one of the girls made me laugh seriously hard. If that male performer ever decides to pursue a comedy career he'd be the next biggest thing. I also enjoyed Dana DeArmond's performance which was equally as humorous. While it was a little extreme in nature I loved watching her many different expressions, and hearing her hysterical one liners. Joanna also gave her fair share of usual humor which is always fun to watch. The sex within this feature was truly awe inspiring. The performers really gave it there all, and as a result I can see why this DVD was a multi-award nominee. If your into adult films, and haven't bought this DVD yet you should!
VERDICT: Must Have!!!
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